please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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