I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
