I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize