My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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