every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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