I saw his package. It spoke to me.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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