It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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