Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
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