Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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