I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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