he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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