She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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