she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Do vagina's smell?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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