If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
