He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
