So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
