remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
