So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
this hospital has no fireball
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
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