I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
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