there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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