I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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