The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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