I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
