One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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