Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
