I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize