I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
