I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
