I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
