i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
