Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
