Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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