Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
you win again, gameday.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
