After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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