i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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