Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize