You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
