Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
