I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
