well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
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