Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Randomize