I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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