I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
