this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Operation Purity has been aborted
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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