This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
