if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
