Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
"it" just moved
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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