Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
