i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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