i don't like sucking hair
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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