this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
operation harelip BJ is a go
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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