508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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