this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Randomize