Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
This is the prime rib incident all over again
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
