well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize