found the other keg... it's in the tree
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
