he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
His hands were made for my vagina.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
