I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
