after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize